Recently asked IELTS writing question + Sample answer with correction

Dear IELTS aspirants,

IELTS writing is widely regarded as one of the most challenging module of the exam. Adhering to the IELTS writing marking criteria is crucial for achieving higher band scores. In this session, we will be analyzing recent IELTS questions and providing sample answers to illustrate common mistakes and effective strategies for improvement.

Question -

Today many people do not know their neighbours.

Why is this?

What can be done about this?

Sample answer of a Candidate who cracked 6.5 band in IELTS.

Teacher's correction note

1. 2nd para 1st sentence – the preposition should be ‘with’
2. ‘rat race’ is an informal idiom, so instead a formal usage like ‘cutthroat competition’ would be suitable
3. 5th line-‘hard’ it should be legible
4. 2nd page, first line – instead of just ‘people often’ , ‘people in the past often’ would be more suitable
5. 3rd line note the punctuation
6. 3rd paragraph 6th line- the right usage is ‘on vacation’, not ‘at vacation’
7. 10th line – ‘in’ should be used instead of ‘at’
8. Same line the verb should be ‘could manage’
9. 11th line — as ‘potluck’ is a noun the correct usage could be ‘they could arrange potluck meals’
10. Minor illegibility that may cause negative mark.